A dream comes true

I got a job, or more like an internship.

For the last year or so, I have lost everything and have burnt myself over and over again to get an internship.

It was like hitting your head against a wall. You don’t know where it leads, you hope it leads somewhere. All you know is that it hurts, and no-one knows how much it does. It’s hella self-destructive.

But here I am, getting an offer from an internship from among the best I could think of. Oh and they offered three times as much as my old job as a Desk Assistant.

All those things I did finally counted, and this time, they do want to change the game to let me in.

They are willing to work with my visa and for the first time, I don’t have to do the “dirty work” myself.

Then today, I realized that I cannot work until next year, which is only 2 months away.

To prepare for the job in the summer, I will need to earn my driving permit, a license and a vehicle. Considering the pay, money was not a problem.

But now, with my plan of getting everything but the vehicle by the end of the year, I will need to pay out of pocket. And I don’t want dad to know, because no matter how careful I am, this is a RISK I’m taking.

The constant stream of good news broke open the mental shell I put on myself to protect myself from any mental breakdown like before. So any sign of me losing something hurts.

But this is the risk Thomas needs to take. When I stepped on that plane, when I chose this name “Thomas”, two promises were made. That in hard times, I will take care of myself. And in the “gray” area when things could be so much better, I will be willing to sacrifice my well-being to get it done. And when it is all good, well I didn’t think much of that, because it has never been the case. But when it does, I will find a partner, a friend, a soulmate, whoever that is so I can share all my amazing adventures with and so that I will never be alone, no more the mad man in the box.

In short, things worked out, but there are still things to do, risk to take and things that I do not have any control over. All I can do is to prepare for both the best and worst scenario. The thing is, now I have people willing to work with me towards the good scenario, and I can see it, more vividly.

I can feel a new beginning.

Good night, Huntsville.

Thomas Nguyen